Abandonment issues is an informal term that describes a strong fear of losing loved ones or of them leaving a relationship. This fear can result from trauma, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. Anxiety disorders called abandonment difficulties develop when a person experiences a severe dread of losing loved ones. Abandonment issues can make relationships difficult for some people. They might display codependency, clinginess, or manipulative conduct as signs. "Abandonment issues" are a type of anxiety that can have an impact on relationships throughout life but are not a separate condition.

SIGNS OF ABANDONMENT ISSUES IN CHILDREN

It is developmentally normal for children to worry to some extent when their caretakers leave them. It is refer to as separation anxiety. In infants and very young children, separation anxiety is a normal aspect of development. It usually starts between 6 and 12 months of age and peaks around 3 years of age. Symptoms include:

· unwillingness to leave their caretaker

· When a caregiver leaves the child somewhere, the child may sob or act out.

· being fearful of attending daycare or school

For a significant portion of early childhood, a kid may continue to struggle with separation anxiety. This is especially true in strange or unexpected situations, such on the first day of class. Their separation anxiety does not guarantee that kids will struggle with abandonment as adults.

Children who experience an anxious attachment style, however, may also feel insecure in other types of relationships, as they grow older. Children occasionally have severe separation anxiety, which medical professionals describe as a condition.

WHAT ABANDONMENT ISSUES DO TO A PERSON?

· Have anxiety- Children and adults who are afraid of being abandoned could experience persistent anxiety, especially if they believe a relationship is about to end.

· Experienced relationship challenges- A person's image of their relationship might be affected by anxiety about abandonment, making them see issues where none actually exists. They could be too sensitive to any indication of rejection or have trouble believing their spouse will not break up with them. Clingy behavior may result from this, which could harm the relationship.

· Communicate poorly- People who have abandonment concerns could develop negative communication styles as a coping mechanism. For instance, they could act out in an effort to get the love they fear they would lose.

· Engage in harmful behavior- People who are afraid of being abandoned may occasionally resort to manipulative or even aggressive tactics to keep their spouse from leaving them. One might attempt to stop someone from mingling with others, for instance. Coercive control used in this situation.

CAUSES OF ABANDONMENT ISSUES

A fear of abandonment has several root causes. Some people's terror was brought on by a very specific life event. Others may experience a combination of factors. Several instances include:

-Abandonment

Because they were abandon as children, some adults have a phobia of abandonment. A parent, foster parent, or other caregiver may have been involved in this incident.

-Neglect or Abuse

Healthy attachments might be challenging for children who have experienced caregiver abuse or are exposed to frightening behaviors. Their future relationships can be impacted by this. Furthermore, a risk factor includes early trauma or abuse.

-Family instability

Anxiety can be induced in a youngster by a parent or other caregiver who is not consistently loving or present. Both deliberate and unintended inconsistencies are possible.

HOW TO ASSIST SOMEONE WHO HAS CONCERNS WITH ABANDONMENT

Supporting someone who fears abandonment can be difficult. They can see attempts to discuss the issue as criticism or worry that it will result in their partner leaving. Therefore, it is crucial to approach discussions on this subject with tolerance and sensitivity.

Try these things when talking about someone else's fear of abandonment:

· Give many assurances.

· Observe them and consider how their fears are interfering with their happiness.

· Show your affection and concern.

· If they are willing to talk about it, discuss what would be helpful.

· Throughout the conversation, keep your composure and be consistent.

The phrase "abandonment issues" can have a negative connotation and perpetuate the notion that there is something wrong with the person, thus it may be best to avoid using it.

Avoid the following to prevent anxiety:

· Give the person credit or criticism for their anxiety

· Demand they alter without providing encouragement

· Impose deadlines on them, such as threatening to leave if they do not ask for assistance.

SUPPORTING CHILDREN

Children who dread being abandoned might gain from:

- Caretakers' constant assurance and attention

- Kindness and sympathy

- A consistent daily schedule might help make life more dependable and comforting.

- Regular check-ins that let them express their emotions

Keep in mind that difficult behavior is frequently a manifestation of emotional distress. If a child exhibits significant anxiety or lacks confidence, a caregiver may wish to speak with a child psychologist.

HOW TO HEAL ABANDONMENT ISSUES

1. Acknowledge your abandonment issues

The diagnosis of the condition is the first step in treating any form of disorder. Similar to this, admitting that you have abandonment issues is the first step toward healing them. However, as you can see, if you cannot have an honest discussion with yourself, you cannot start the healing process. You will know you are ready to face your anxieties when you eventually work up the bravery to look yourself in the mirror.

2. Learn to put yourself first

You often go to great lengths to ensure that someone stays when you are worried about being reject or left behind. You believe they will not have any reason to depart if you give in to their requests or indulge them in whatever they desire. Before you realize it, you start to resemble a doormat. The possibility of losing people exists. However, keep in mind that nobody can be appeased. In addition, those leaving are not worth maintaining in any case.

3. Work on trusting other people

Trust problems can stem from abandonment concerns, especially in romantic partnerships. There is always that worry that someone else will cheat on or betray you if it has happened before. You frequently struggle to trust others because of this. Because of this, you must first address your trust issues if you wish to resolve your issues with abandonment. Give individuals the chance to prove themselves before you judge them.

4. Seek a support system

Strong support networks reduce the likelihood of abandonment difficulties in their inhabitants. The assurance that someone would always have their back makes them feel safer. So go ahead and seek out those that can actually relate to you. Spend time with individuals where you can be really you without having to pretend to be someone you are not. Choose friends and acquaintances who will uplift you rather than drag you down.

5. Embrace your trauma

We are never able to go back in time, no matter how hard we try. That implies that nothing bad that has happened to you can be undone. Right now, your only option is to embrace them. Although they undoubtedly caused you great pain, they also contributed to your development into the person you are today. You survived all the awful things that happened to you, so they can only make you stronger. Consider that and use it as inspiration to forgive both yourself and those who have wronged you.

WHEN TO SEEK HELP

Anyone can seek treatment from a therapist if they believe that abandonment concerns have a detrimental impact on their relationships or mental health. Individual, couple, or family therapy may be used in this situation.

Even if the problems do not seem to be connected, people with a history of trauma or loss may want to discuss them with a mental health expert.

SUMMARY

Anxiety disorders called abandonment difficulties develop when a person experiences a severe dread of losing loved ones. Abandonment issues can make relationships difficult for some people. They might display codependency, clinginess, or manipulative conduct as signs. The person dealing with abandonment issues could find that therapy helps them solve their troubles. Both adults and children who fear abandonment can benefit from assistance and lead fulfilling lives with healthy connections.

References

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/abandonment-issues-symptoms-signs

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/abandonment-issues#management

https://www.all4kids.org/news/blog/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/